Anchored in anger, we exile ourselves
Bitter blood builds our prison cell
Darker water now fills our lungs
The depths of our heart have blacked the sun
Peace.
Do you know those points in your life where everything seems to, quiet?
When you have calm all around you and it feels like you are floating on a still ocean. Relaxing, and perfect. A light breeze to hit your face, nothing to disrupt the serenity you feel and the peace in your mind.
I hate that.
I always have.
I crave drama and violence, I need my life to be interesting. Most people say they just want peace, they just want a calm life and to be left alone to enjoy it. Whether it is in my personal life or my career that is never what I wanted. I want the violence, I choose the violence. And most people whether they want to admit it or not want it to. That’s why they gossip, that’s why they talk behind each others backs, that’s why they “spill the tea”
The true hypocrisy is never lost on me. All those who hate that I attack them to their face have never realised I’m doing them a fucking favor. See I could be like all of you. I could pretend I want a happy, calm, serene life full of sunshine and fucking rainbows. I could talk behind all of your backs to save the illusion of a drama free life.
But I’d rather talk shit to your face…
Complacency in any aspect of your life is stagnation in growth and moving forward. People like to say they are being the bigger person, they all want to be the one looked at as mature and enlightened, highly evolved in a world full of ego driven primates who succumb to their base instincts of violence and warfare. But conflict breeds innovation and I refuse to sit back and play this game…
My name is Kayla Richards…and I choose fucking violence…
Chapter 22: Peace
She had settled in nicely. To this life of domestic bliss. For years her private life had been just as chaotic as her professional one. Being in the relationships she had been in had caused a war within her family. From the relationship with Angel Blake and Ana Valentine, to being involved in the Pleasant family all through to being with Matthew Shields. Kayla had, for most of her adult life, been surrounded by drama. She had not known what it was like to come home and be able to relax.
Switch off.
Breathe.
But there was the problem. With Matt Shields everything was a problem, a fight, an argument. Whether it was about work or things in the home there was always something. She thought she hated it and just wanted it over. But being with Billy was different. In between shows at Hybrid, the part of her life that satisfied the chaotic nature she had inside, she would go home. Spend time with Billy, and relax. At work it was about establishing dominance. Dominance over opponents, allies and even her own sister who she had brought in.
This is what she strived for as she went through the professional wrestling world. But when the lights turned off, when the end of the night came and it was time to go home, Kayla found herself bored. Her mind drifting as she looked around at her life and tried to find something, anything to get mad about, something to get annoyed about, to start a fight, an argument or a discussion.
Something to be passionate about.
She hated feeling domesticated, she wasn’t like Amber who seemed so happy with her life. Her husband and kids. She didn’t need wrestling anymore, she didn’t need conflict and anger. She was truly at peace and enjoyed it. But Kayla sat at home, staring across the room at Billy, her right leg crossed over her left, her arms folded over her chest as she twitched. She was bored. Billy flicked through a muscle and fitness magazine, reading about new sources of protein that cut down on fat intake or some such nonsense.
Kayla raised an eyebrow, pushing up to her feet and walking around the house. It was a beautiful place, spacious and well decorated. Billy had let Kayla do what she wanted. From the second he asked her to move in it had been clear, Billy was going to roll over and allow Kayla to do what she wanted. Decorate how she wanted, live how she wanted. There was no control or domination like there was with Matt or Jace. No power struggle. There wasn’t even compromise.
Billy seemed so happy go lucky and calm. Kaylas emerald eyes moved across the room back to hill, looking him up and down. How was he always so chill? Kayla was always so angry even now.
“I might go for a ride.” The words came out blunt and hard. Spit through her teeth as she folded her arms over her chest again, her body language showing she was angry, growling out the words as Billy slowly looked up with a nod of his head and a smile “I don’t know when I’ll be back…”
Billy put his magazine down and got to his feet moving over to her before kissing Kayla on the cheek. “Ok babe, have fun, what do you want for dinner? I might get it started now…”
He moved toward the fridge, Kayla froze, her jaw slightly open as she tried to understand what just happened. Was he oblivious to her tone? Her body language? Did he not care? Was he fucking with her? It made her blood boil, she turned around, her palms laying flat against the kitchen bench as she tilted her head. “Hey, I just said I’m going out and I’m not telling you when I’ll be back, does that concern you? Why the fuck are you so ok with all this and happy? The fuck Billy?” Billy closed the fridge door, food in his arms as he set it on the kitchen counter.
He shook his head and laughed. “I know if you were actually pissed at ME you’d let me know…so I thought you need a bit of space…and who the fuck am I to say no? Go for a ride Kay…I’ll be here when you get back babe…”
He slid the keys to her dirtbike into her hand as he kissed her on the cheek again. Kayla was frustrated. She wasn’t angry anymore, just confused. There was no passion here. Not in anything. And she hated it. But what else could she do? She turned and left the house, walking out into the fresh air, the sun slowly dying behind the trees. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes feeling the keys in her hand.
“Fuck”
The world is against me…
“The fuck do I have to do?”
Kayla was mad, what else is new? She growls under her breath staring forward as her lips twist into a scowl.
“What do I have to do to reverse this stupid and unfair decision against me? I have dominated everyone that Charlie and Ophelia have put me in the ring against. Mason, Landerson, Payne, Granger. I have been one of the best in this goddamn company through the beginning and I am being punished and held back. Victory championship? No. Impulse? No. Excellence? Denied. No championship opportunities for me for the foreseeable future and all because I dared, I DARED to stand up for myself and take revenge on Betsy Granger who cost me my opportunity. And the worst part about all this? Everyone fucking denies it”
“They called her music playing and distracting me a “production error” Do you think I’m stupid? Betsy and I mention each other prior to the first show, we are on opposite sides of the brackets all leading to a showdown in the final and suddenly her music plays while I’m in the ring? And none of you find that suspicious? None of you? Really?”
“So I stand up for myself, I make sure Betsy fails and now I am banned from championship opportunities.”
“So we have an irish twit with a bad looking beard who is more known for his abs and his bitch of a wife than winning championships holding the Victory, a magician who can’t pul;l off a magic trick to save her life who, to be honest should magically manifest a fucking personality as the impulse champion, and a bland ass spooky boi as the excellence champion. Congrats PWE you played yourselves.”
She laughed and shook her head before leaning back against the wall.
“Now, if you need any further evidence that PWE is against me just look at this match. I have made it obvious that I am undeniable and me becoming champion is a flat out inevitability, so PWE put me in a match where my “partner” is the woman who hates me most in this world. Are you kidding me? You are forcing me to go out there and put my winning streak, my PWE future in the hands of a woman who would only watch my back to find a soft spot to stick the knife. Shit she already said t publically.”
“She would leave me out there, against two opponents to sabotage me.”
“To halt my momentum”
“The pettiness is strong with her. You see Betsy is so angry that I am clearly better than her and more successful that she would go to any lengths to keep me down. To push me down and hold me there. I am being ostracized for simply being the best. Is that fair? Is that what Pro Wrestling Excellence is all about? Because I thought this place had a mission statement where the best would be rewarded, the cream would rise to the top and trust me..this isn’t me complaining for the sake of it…”
“Betsy Granger is holding me back in conjunction with Charlie Jones and Ophelia Knight. And that is my proof…”
She pauses a moment and shakes her head.
“But what of the opponents this week? The beneficiaries of this insidious action from our “management” and Betsy? Xaria Linette and William Blake Mason. Why am I not surprised? The company wants Xaria to succeed, to be the star she believes herself to be so badly. Despite the fact she continuously fails and stumbles, despite the fact that not only has she failed and stumbled she has been weak enough to get beaten down backstage and inept enough to not find who did it and take her revenge.”
“What has she done to deserve getting in the ring with me? Loss after loss after loss and now FINALLY a win. Finally over that hump isn’t that right Xaria?”
“Does that mean we don’t have to put up with your woe is me bullshit all over twitter and your promos now?”
“Because that would be great. “
“I’m sure you feel pretty good about yourself and you’re preparing to feel even better now that you get to team with one of your bestest friends to take on two people who quite clearly can’t stand each other. So really you have to ask yourself why Xaria. Why have you and William been placed in this match against myself and Betsy? Think about it Xaria, think long and hard. You have been chosen because management believes Betsy is going to screw me over and give you another win…because you are hand picked…congratulations, everyone loves a fucking underdog….too bad I’m going to rain on your parade…”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes before clearing her throat and tilting her head.
“Then, we retread ground. Because Xaria has a friend, isn’t that cute. Where have you been William? And I don’t just mean in the company I mean since this whole thing started. Where is the William Blake Mason you keep promising us?. The William Blake Mason who started at the age of eighteen who is now thirty one, The WILLIAM BLAKE MASON …..pause for dramatic effect…”
“Ex-perience”
“Where is that William? Because I “experienced” that one and it was as boring as the catchphrases and the same tired shit you’ve repeated before matches since you got here. That is when you choose to turn up. And here’s the thing William, I think I have you figured out…”
“I think I see your game here.”
“See, you have struggled to find your footing in this company, struggled to matter and be relevant. As much as I dislike Betsy, I can admit she didn’t struggle with that, neither did Xaria even through losing. But you? You stumbled, you fell, and I buried you. So, how do you become relevant again? By having a friends back maybe? A friend who mysteriously got attacked backstage and was left laying? Hmmm, kind of suspect don’t you think? Maybe Mr Mason isn’t as innocent as we all are led to believe.”
“Maybe at Victory six I’m not the only one who could get betrayed. Maybe mis Xaria needs to watch her back…and her front…who knows? All I know is I will be swinging at anything that gets in my way…”
